Lessons in Resilience

I learned early in my coaching career that masterful coaching involved setting ego aside and creating a partnership in which both coach and client learn equally from each other. I struggle with this from time to time because of my need to feel like I’m delivering value and because clients often show up seeking input, guidance and advice. Recently, however, I find that I am learning a great deal from clients on a critical topic.

Unless you’re living under a rock, you are feeling the effects of the economy. In my conversations with leaders and their teams in the past several months, I’ve been noticing how they maintain their focus and composure in these stormy economic times. These recurring conversations focus around leadership resilience, a topic that has been discussed for some time but that now seems more important than ever.

Research shows that resilience—or the ability to learn, adapt and be effective in the face of challenge—is a critical factor in leader success, whether in government, industry or the nonprofit sector. As leaders, we often cannot control what is thrown at us. The workings of organizations can be unpredictable and frustrating to begin with. Throw on top of that a set of unprecedented economic conditions and you have the potential for being completely overwhelmed. I notice a range of success levels in how clients deal with all of this frustration and uncertainty. Some consistently rise to the challenge and others seem to be frozen in fear by the exact same circumstances. The difference between the two groups is, resilience.

The most resilient clients are those who possess a fundamental ability to choose their attitude as well as their responses to whatever happens around them. By fundamental, do I mean inborn? Not at all. Instead, my experiences and observations point to the reality that resilience is an ability that is developed over time rather than an innate trait that the lucky ones get and the less fortunate miss out on. Resilience is a set of skills that are developed to greater and greater degree, each time you face a challenge and choose to practice these skills. What’s fundamental about resilience is that it’s at the core of strong leaders’ responses to the changing environments they face.

Here are five things that my clients have taught me
about how resilient leaders develop and sustain this capacity.

Resilient Leaders stay connected to a sense of purpose.
Resilient leaders are clear on what’s most important to them and the bigger reason for why they are doing what they’re doing. They’re crystal clear on who they are and what they bring to the table. Sometimes this involves revisiting or recreating company mission, vision and values. Other times it entails a purposeful crafting of one’s own personal mission statement. And for some it simply means engaging in conversation with a trusted confidante to discuss and clarify that which matters most. Regardless of how it’s obtained or clarified, resilient leaders utilize this sense of purpose as their “True North” in guiding them forward and allow it to serve as a solid foundation to stand upon when all else around them is shifting.

Resilient Leaders keep an eye on the big picture.
The most resilient leaders that I work with are those who balance short term activities with the long-term view. One of my favorite terms for this is the “ability toggle back and forth between the balcony and the dance floor”, which allows one to have both a macro and micro view at the same time. In maintaining this balanced focus on day to day and big picture, leaders are less likely to succumb to the stresses brought on by everyday setbacks. When the inevitable need for a course correction arises, they align that correction with the big picture and keep moving forward.

Resilient Leaders choose their perspective.
Victor Frankl, after enduring unfathomable hardship at the hands of the Nazi’s, wrote “The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitudes.” It’s tempting to allow oneself to slip into victim mode and to let constraints and unfavorable circumstances cloud your view. Resilient leaders realize that a different perspective is always available to them and that no one can take away their right to choose a perspective that is empowering versus one that is limiting.

Resilient Leaders take care of themselves.
Resilient leaders exercise, take time for quiet thought and reflection whether in prayer, meditation or journaling, and stay close to loved ones. They treat their bodies and their minds as their most precious assets and take care of them accordingly. They engage in regular practices that restore and sustain them.

Resilient Leaders give back.
The most resilient leaders that I know have a generous and giving spirit and are committed to giving back to their community and world in whatever way aligns with their interests and passions. In doing so, they further cultivate their sense of purpose and pay it forward in ways that improve the lives of others.

As my clients have shared these lessons with me, I’ve taken them to heart and have noticed an increase in my own level of resilience. Challenge yourself to cultivate your resilience. Identify one resilience building practice and pay attention to opportunities to incorporate that practice into your life. You’ll find that it’s a key to achieving higher levels of personal and professional fulfillment and satisfaction, all the more so in these challenging economic times. And if you have a favorite resilience building practice that I have not referenced, send me an email and share it with me. I’d love to learn from you!